Want To Get Your Ex Back? Four Things You Can Do To Make It Happen
Filed Under Getting Back Together
At some point in time most everyone has experienced the painful ending of a relationship. It does not seem to matter if it is your first time breaking up with someone or the tenth time, it is still very painful.
A lot of times once the relationship has ended people want to get their ex back, they miss them and the good times they shared and getting back together becomes very important. Sometimes it is hard to know how good things are in a relationship until it is gone. If the relationship was abusive or violent, you should stay away from your ex and be thankful that it ended and you can move on before getting hurt even worse in the long run.
Many relationships will tend to follow some standard stages over time. For example, when you first meet your new partner you are both very happy and it seems as if this will continue on forever. You cannot imagine any possible flaws or faults this person may have. As time goes on and you get to know each other a little better, the relationship will begin to change. You are more comfortable with this person and suddenly all of those things you may have found attractive in the beginning of the relationship may not be so attractive any more.
For a relationship to work both partners must be committed to putting effort into the relationship and working together to resolve issues and move forward. For some couples, this is too much to handle so one partner may decide to exit at this stage. If you want to get an ex back and truly believe the relationship has potential, here are some tips that may help you. You should think about how you plan to handle the issues that caused the breakup and what are you willing to do to make sure those issues don’t damage the relationship again.
It is important to be honest and admit your mistakes up front, to say you are sorry for what happened and truly mean it. This is the best possible first step, it will open the discussion and get you started in the direction you want to go in. This step is critical, you must be sincere and have a well thought out plan of what you are sorry for. It is also critical to stay calm when you are apologizing for past actions and mistakes. Try to keep your emotions in check and keep the end result in mind. It is important not to let your ex get control of the situation or say things that may make your temper flare. Remember to keep the end result you want to achieve in mind, and stay focused on the task at hand.
Pick a neutral spot, meet your ex and talk. It is important to pick a location for meeting with your ex that is neutral to both of you. Stay away from your home or locations where you have shared past events, it is important to meet some place that does hold any memories. You need to calmly ask your ex to meet you to talk, if they do not want to do no push the issue, just wait for another time when they are more receptive to the idea. It is important to be able to open discuss the issues in your past relationship without getting emotional. Stay focused on the positive and what you can do to bring the relationship back together and make it even stronger. You may want to suggest a couples therapist or counselor if your ex agrees.
Allow your partner some time away. It is important that your partner has enough time away from you and the relationship to think things through and decide what they want to do. Just because you are ready to move forward and re start the relationship does not mean they are. There is some truth in the old saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” give them a chance to miss you.
You need to appear confident and sure about what you want and what you are doing. If you give the impression that you are desperate and a whiner you will lose your ex all together. It is important for you to get out and do things and not continue to pine for your ex. It does not matter what you are doing, just stay busy. Get together with your friends, get a part time job, attend a local event, donate some time to charity, the list is endless. If you are not so readily available when your ex does call you they will be forced to wonder what you are up to. It’s called the rubber band effect, if you pull away from your ex they are much more likely to pursue you. It sounds crazy, but it does actually work.
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