Robert spends a good deal of time working and his wife, Keerthi, feels neglected. Meanwhile, Robert feels neglected himself because Keerthi is immersed in the needs of her children. Can anything be done to salvage this marriage and if so, should it be saved?
The first step is to decide if it is worth the time and effort to save the relationship. If both partners want to salvage a relationship, it usually can be done. But if one partner is not interested, the cause is hopeless.
Convenience is often a reason cited for remaining in a rocky relationship. Some people avoid divorce for the sake of their children. But those are not valid reasons to continue a relationship. Both parties must feel that the relationship is worth salvaging in order to be successful in this endeavor.
The next thing to do is to figure out what the problems are. Often people confuse the symptoms of the problems with the actual problems. For example, an affair is often a factor in relationship break-ups, but an affair is a symptom, not the problem.
The true problem is likely to be a lack of intimacy. If you fail to deal with the problem, it may manifest itself in another symptom, such as use of pornography. Relationships can be saved once you recognize and deal with the real issues.
After pinpointing those vexing issues, you and your partner must discuss them with patience and open minds. Holding hands while doing this can help provide a physical connection while you search your souls, recognize your shortcomings and try to work toward solutions.
Hurtful things are bound to be said, but you should both try to remember that these issues must be discussed and resolved in order to improve the relationship. Once you are both aware of the underlying problems, you can create a plan for resolution and put it into action. If you need to spend more time together, plan regular date nights, taking turns coming up with fun things to do. If communication is the issue, plan a regular time to share your thoughts and concerns and then follow through. In conclusion, a relationship is a work in process.
As you work to salvage your relationship, you will meet with some successes and some failures. Try to learn from mistakes and communicate clearly and empathetically. Try not to be overly critical of your partner and apologize quickly for any of your shortcomings. Only you can say if your relationship is worth saving. If it is, you now have some ideas on how to proceed.
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