Now you’ve seen what life is like without your ex boyfriend, and it is inevitable that you will compare it with the life you once had with him. You may think that there is no comparison and your life before was infinitely better than it is now. Realize that your situation is not as dire as you might think, still it may be that your ex boyfriend really was the relationship that you wanted and you need to do something to get him back.
First you must identify the causes of the failure of the relationship. Any causes that are your fault will have to be addressed by you. Any causes that are his fault will have to be addressed by him in time, but for now let’s focus on you. If you did something wrong, what was it that made you do it? Or maybe it was something that you didn’t do. Would you be willing to change in the future for the sake of your relationship? It’s not just a matter of apologizing for what you did. You need to know what made you do it so you don’t find yourself in that situation again.
Maybe you were crowding him and he felt like he needed more room, so he left. He was probably sending you signals to back off, but you didn’t heed the warnings so he backed off instead. Will you make that mistake again? Or maybe he wasn’t seeing enough of you so he decided that you shouldn’t see any more of him. Will you be there when he needs you next time? You can see that changes need to be made, and you will have to work these changes out with him. Some things may be impossible for you to change and he will have to realize that you will do what you can do, but you can’t do the impossible. He will have to accept at least some flaws, just as you accept his flaws. And if he is the one who is most responsible for the break up, then you are probably waiting for an apology from him, at least a sincere one this time.
If you can forgive him, then you still must go through the process of identifying the causes of the break up and making changes to the relationship that will give you a better chance of success in the future. You should reach an understanding about how things will be different if you get back together, and what things will stay the same. If you both have realistic expectations going in then you are more likely to be satisfied with the results.
You have a good chance of getting back together with your ex boyfriend, but you will find that you both have to make changes to make the relationship work, and then you will really be winning back a better boyfriend, and he will have a better girlfriend, and these efforts at relationship building will build a stronger foundation upon which you can base a very long lasting and satisfying relationship.
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